Today’s reading is Matthew 25:1-26:75.

Well, my fall schedule is keeping me hopping and making it hard to get to the computer to post about each day’s reading. I hope you are keeping up with the reading in your Bible even if there haven’t been regular posts to keep up with here. What God says is definitely more important than what I say. However, I do think it helps for us to discuss these things. Therefore, I’m back.

The wise virgins of Matthew 25:1-13 really caught my attention today. They had purchased extra oil in case the bridegroom didn’t show up quickly. The foolish only bought enough for the moment they bought some. They didn’t plan for difficulties. Then the bridegroom was on his way and the foolish virgins realized they didn’t have enough oil. They asked the wise for some, but the wise said, “If we do that, there won’t be enough for both of us. Hasten to the market and purchase some for yourselves.”

This refusal always gives me pause. Aren’t we supposed to sacrifice for others? Were the wise virgins being greedy? What might the foolish virgins think of them if they refused?

This little tidbit reminds me that I don’t need to be codependent. That is, my emotional well-being does not need to be governed by the emotional responses of others. The wise virgins looked at what was right and wrong, not what everyone else would think of their actions. How easy it might have been for the foolish virgins to manipulate the wise. “I can’t believe you won’t help me in my need. That’s just not very Christlike. How stingy.” How easy it would have been for the wise to get caught up in playing emotional games, “I know if I give some of this oil I won’t have enough either, but what will they think of me. I don’t want them to resent me. I definitely don’t want them thinking that I’m not very spiritual or sacrificing.” 

They didn’t have to do any of that. They had done what was right. To give away their oil would have impacted their relationship with the bridegroom. They didn’t have to cave to any of the emotional manipulation and pressure of the foolish virgins.

Should we be people who sacrifice and serve others? Absolutely. However, that doesn’t mean caving to emotional manipulation. That doesn’t mean walking a line defined by the overbearing expectations of others, especially of others who are placing this burden on us because of their own wrongs. 

The first question we need to ask is what draws us closer to the bridegroom. We need to do that no matter what others think about us or say about us. If what we have done is right and brings us closer to Jesus, then it doesn’t matter if others think we are bad. We’re not. If, on the other hand, what we have done is wrong and takes us away from Jesus, then it doesn’t matter if we have convinced everyone in the world that we are spiritually great; we aren’t. 

That is the key to why these virgins were wise. Not only did they prepare so they could be close to the bridegroom and be ready. They did not allow the emotional manipulations of others to overtake their desire to be with the bridegroom. They didn’t allow their desire to impress others to overtake their desire to be with the bridegroom. They didn’t allow their fears of hurting their relationships with other people to overtake their desire to be with the bridegroom. When the bridegroom came, they were ready.

***Question: How do you keep your relationships with others from hindering your relationship with Jesus?

Keep the faith and keep reading,

ELC

Today’s reading is Matthew 25:1-26:75.

I didn’t get far in today’s reading before I was hit by Matthew 25:8-9.

“And the foolish said to the wise, ‘Give us some of your oil, for our lamps are going out.’ But the wise answered, saying, ‘Since there will not be enough for us and for you, go rather to the dealers and buy for yourselves.’”

What an amazing passage.

Some consider the wise virgins as heartless and mean. “Look at how they are hoarding what they have instead of sharing.” But the wise were right. Remember, Jesus called them wise, not wicked. The wise virgins understood the need for boundaries. I have no doubt they were very concerned for the foolish virgins. But they understood that the improper planning of the fools did not place a burden on them.

Let’s back up and get something straight. We are all to be servants. The Bible is full of stories and instruction showing us we need to be servants, we need to share, we need to help. Sadly, however, too many Christians have carried this way beyond the point the Scripture makes and have become codependent doormats. That is, they become enablers who pave the way for others to simply live in folly and often sin.

Paul said, “If anyone is not willing to work, let him not eat” (II Thessalonians 3:10). We look at someone hungry and say, “Oh, but their hungry.” We feed them and simply enable their laziness. Yes, we should serve, but we shouldn’t enable.

That is the lesson of the five wise virgins. They refused to enable the five foolish virgins. They had boundaries. They did help. They were there with the five foolish virgins. They gave them good advice. For all that, they refused to cross the boundary line.

Perhaps the hardest part about this on the side of the five wise virgins is thinking, “But what will they think of me? What if they don’t like me anymore? What will they say about me? This could ruin our relationship.” The wise virgins didn’t think on those lines. They simply thought about what was the right thing to do. They didn’t allow their insecurities of what others might think to dictate their actions. Had they done so, the five foolish virgins would have liked them. However, the wise virgins would no longer have been wise, but would have been fools as were their counterparts. 

Somebody once gave me a little saying that has really helped me in the moments I want to be codependent and cross boundaries, acting based on how people think about me rather than what is right. He said, “You know, it’s really none of my business what everyone else thinks about me.” We simply can’t control what everyone else will think. When we know we’ve done the right thing, we don’t need to worry what everyone else thinks because what they think doesn’t make what we did wrong. In like manner if we have done what is wrong, what everyone else thinks won’t make what we did right. Instead of codependently worrying about what everyone else thinks of us and whether or not they are judging us, disapproving us, or looking down on us, let’s simply work to do the next right thing. What everyone else thinks of us doesn’t change whether or not we are right with God or whether or not we are wise.

Let’s be like the five wise virgins. Let’s establish boundaries. Let’s offer good help but not behave codependently.

Keep the faith and keep reading,

ELC

P.S. What did you get out of today’s reading?