Today’s reading is Acts 15:1-16:40.

These readings provided me with hope because it showed that Paul was human. I don’t mean I see him doing things wrong necessarily. However, I do see him responding as I might respond with very human emotions.

In Acts 15:38-41, he has an argument with Barnabas and they part ways. I don’t want to get in the debate about whether this was right or wrong or who was right or wrong. I just notice that even the apostle Paul had turmoils, disagreements, struggles. Whatever was right or wrong in this situation, Paul wasn’t perfectly able to bring about 100% accord with Barnabas. I won’t always be able to do that either.

In Acts 16:18, says Paul cast out the spirit from the servant girl because he became greatly annoyed. No doubt, Paul was right to cast out the spirit. He had the authority to do so and there was nothing wrong with it. But I can’t help but see that this happened because he was greatly annoyed. What a human emotion. It is as if this girl had been following them around and each time Paul gets a little more frustrated. At first, he tries to ignore what she was doing. I can see him talking to someone, this girl crying out and him closing his eyes, looking up, sighing and trying to move on until it just had him pushed to the very limit. In annoyance, he turns around and essentially says, “Fine, if that’s the way you want to play this game, watch this. I command you in Jesus’ name to come out of her.” 

In Acts 16:36-40, Paul had been unjustly beaten. Even though he could see how the whole thing worked out for good and the jailer’s conversion, he was still ticked off. The officials had broken the law and he had paid the price for it. He wouldn’t take that lying down. He certainly didn’t do anything wrong and I think we learn some great lessons about using the rights our government gives us. However, I again see that human emotion. “I don’t have to take this. I’m not going to take this. You guys think you can break the law and then send us out privately. No way. I’m going to stand up to this.”

These vignettes into Paul’s life comfort me. I’m allowed to have emotions. I’m allowed to be annoyed at times because some things are annoying. I’m allowed to stand up for my rights some times. I’m allowed to disagree with someone sometime. All too often I live with this ideal fantasy that says when I’m doing everything just right I’ll never have disagreements, never get annoyed, never get angry. That will never happen. This is real life we’re talking about. Paul lived it and yet he was still faithful to God and forgiven by Jesus. I can too. I’m not saying I have permission to let my emotions run my life into sinful behaviors. I’m simply learning that I don’t have to berate myself with shame and guilt simply because I don’t live up to some fantasy standard.

Keep the faith and keep reading,

ELC

P.S. What struck you in today’s reading?